Lost...

Am I supposed to feel this way?
Is it permanent? Or just temporary?
It's almost too much.
Nothing is comfortable anymore.
Does she feel it?
I hope not. Im not worth it.
I wasn't even good enough from the start.
Too many mistakes were made.
I love her. I loved her.
But it wasn't meant to be.
I miss it already. Us.
I was told once to never regret what made me happy.
I would never regret what she and I had.
What I fear is that I wasted her time.
That's five months that she can't get back.
What am I supposed to do?
Help me. Please.

The aftermath.

Going back is not an option. Going forward is the only way. You once said that it's my happiness. I hope its my happiness I am saving. If only I could save both. If I hadnt, would mine be there? Its a gamble. I wasnt speaking from anger. This was calm and peaceful. Scared me that it was so. Are you okay? I cant hear you.

Leading up to it.

Time has come. Do you see it? You should. It is happening now. Our lives will never be the same. Can you handle it? So much ahead. Living forever. But ending so quickly. No longer there but always here. I listen. I respond. Gone.

Poems anyone?

Wow. More than a month since last post.
Lots happened!
None that I want to say right now. Maybe in the next one.
In the mean time, I created this poem.
Read. Enjoy.


Sleep Little Baby. Don't say a word. Brooks is gonna buy you a giant sword. If that giant sword don't slice, Brooks is gonna buy you a whittling knife. If that whittling knife don't make bows, Brooks will take you to all the shows. If those shows are so bad you cant handle, Brooks is gonna take you to a Baby Camel. If that baby camel dies, Brooks, like Jesus, will bring it back to life. Zombie baby camel eat those brains. Watch their blood flow down some drains.

Now help me think of a title for it.

Have I Gone Missing???

Okay, so I haven't written in awhile. I know. A lot has happened. I think. You, the readers, haven't given up on me yet. Hopefully. You are all wondering what happens next in Jameson's life. Probably not.

I'm gonna tell you anyway.

First off, one of my bestest friends' birthdays was yesterday. She turned 15. Happy Birthday Lexie from all of us in the Nothing Box.

Second, I played fugitive for the first time last Thursday. Or Friday. I can't remember. Lexie and I won. It doesn't matter what everyone else says. We didn't get caught until after everyone was saying the game was over. Great job Desi on catching a plethura of potheads.

Third, I am sorta sad to say that I am back into lame RPG PC games. Runescape, you never fail to amuse me when im bored. If you have one, look me up. I am either Cartman891 or Anti-Jameson. I changed it recently and don't know if it has taken effect.

Fourth, Aliante Park is hands down, the greatest park ever built. Canyon Ridge play area sucks. Dang religion. Always getting in the way of childish fun.

And for the fifth and final part, this is definitely the most important. I have a date to Prom! Not how I wanted though. Dnag Walmart doesnt have Beta Fish! Megatron shall live! Instead, I set up the last half of it and put a bunch of purple/pink/red roses on her truck. I also took her for sushi. That was a fail. The cheesy line I was supposed to say was 'There may be a lot of fish in the sea, but Ill be the Alpha Fish if you say yes to Prom.'




Best Spring Break ever!! Though that dang lifeguarding school took away most of it. Grr.

Colorquiz results....

Jameson took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! ""Strives for full life which includes activities a..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Dont worry. The link works. Its just a lot of words to put onto here. I typed the javascript and html myself. I know how to. Just takes awhile. =D

"My Time"

Since the dawn of time,
I've had a dream
That one day I shall reign.

Across the land,
A change of scene.
The country I will gain.

I have been gone,
Away from there
Planning my attack.

Now I return.
The force is here.
Their government shall crack.

I will rise up,
Take control,
And reign for all time.

They'll fall.
They'll crumble.
All the way to their knees.

I'll rule
And destroy
The corruption and disease.




That's a poem I wrote in response to being kicked out of my group's Utopia. They just weren't smart enough to rea:ize that making me the military leader of the country would lead to their demise.
Don't worry. I'll spare Cammie and Elizabeth. =D <3

RyLeA!1!1!1!1!

 Always making me laugh with your ultimate you. I think you should read a book called Swan Song by Robert McCammon. Its a bit long, but I think you can manage. You're a smart girl. We need to have a fun day one day. Let me know if you're up for it. It might have to be awhile from now. Like in the summer. Maybe not that far, but there's a lot going on right now so just let me know,



I Love You Desi!

Jameson revitalized

I feel happy. Happier than I have in awhile. I hope it sticks.

Here is a poem I said to someone. (slightly changed)

~You Are My Drug~

You are my drug.

It's an awww thing really.

Having a little of you makes me want to seek you out more.

But you can look at it another way.

Having you is bad for my health and is killing me more and more each day.

Either way, I'm dying a little each day.

But the days I'm with you makes me feel more alive than ever.

Is it good? I think it is.

Today, I had a major adventure.
Desi and I picked up 4 other people and they all jammed in the back seat. First Devon, Kaela, and Allison. Then we kidnapped Cassie and covered her with a blanket so she couldnt know where our destination was. We planned on going to Red Rock for a picnic, but the wind is very unforgiving. I shan't curse the weather again. Instead of going there, we decided to make that hour drive up to Primm Valley. Fun? A bit. Loud music. Even louder people. Then we got there. Desi was fine, until we got the ticket. Then she freaked. Almost chickened out. She refused to sit in the front seat with me. I coerced her. Im very persuasive. We rode. It was awesome. Apparently, it is the 5th highest drop in the world. My hand went numb. Devon is a yellow-belly. She wouldnt ride it.
After, we went back to town and had a picnic at Aliante park. In the middle of the grass. Kinda cold. But I had my trusty blanket. I watched kites. They talked about classes for next year. It's going to be soooo different. Im ready to get up and out. Im ready to grow up.
Drop everyone off....CHECK!
Pick up Colton and girl to take them to Santa Fe....CHECK!
Clean Heather's car....CHECK!
Follow Desi....CHECK!
Be a ninja at Heckathorn Park....CHECK!
Be black at Heckathorn Park....CHECK!
Take Desi home....CHECK!
Write this....CH....IN PROGRESS!

Her and I need more days to just hang out. Be weird at a park.


Work has been fun. Learned a lot. Still learning. Racking in the hours. Money overload(sorta).

If you have any questions, concerns, comments, queries, or even some cake. Comment on this or tell me on my formspring.

www.formspring.me/IAmJameson

Thats it.
Have a good night.
I love you.
Maybe.
Depends on who reads this.
=D

Write this....CHECK!

Words on a page.

Words on a page.

Help, bygones, and success.

Since when is trying to help such a bad thing? I fell from the church. It's bad, I know, but if I plan on being ahead in my life, I have to start now. In fact, I shouldve started awhile ago. Not one bad word wouldve been said if you wouldve just told me. Oh well. This is the best choice. I'll let bygones be bygones. Have a better day.

On another note, what the heck is a bygone? Its such a funny looking word.



Better news!!!! They just called me. Asked me for my availability during XC season. Haha. Im not running anymore. So Im free.

They called back not 10 minutes later. 'I'd like to offer you a position....Can you come in Thursday at 11?'
'Why yes, yes I can!'


Agghhhhh!!!! Take that world!!!

Sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com

Favorite quote.

"I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!"


Thank you Melanie for this exciting discovery.

Don't forget to go to Rylea's blog and comment everybody! We all would like to know your remarks on anything said.

Oh and if anyone has a number of any Marines currently or recently serving. Please let me know. I would like to talk to them. Thank You!

Semper Fidelis

Semper Fidelis is Latin for "Always Faithful". Well known in the United States as the motto of theU.S. Marine Corps (and often shortened to Semper Fi in Marine contexts), Semper fidelis has served as a slogan for many families and entities, in many countries, dating at least as far back as the 14th century.

I think I have made my plans.

Words...

The Seraph or Serapim make their first Christian appearance in the Book of Revelation iv. 6-8, where they are forever in God's presence and praising Him constantly: "Day and night they never stop saying: 'Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.'"In medieval Christian neo-Platonic theology, the Seraphim belong to the highest order, or angelic choir, of the hierarchy of angels. They are said to be the caretakers of God's throne, continuously singing Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh, i. e. "holy, holy, holy"—cf. "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord of Hosts, the whole earth is full of His Glory" (Isaiah 6:3). This chanting is referred to as the Sanctus.

This is my favorite word and its function. What I got out of it is that a Seraph is the highest ranked angel the Army of God.

Closer.. I think I can do better. 2 songs in a row. Then some commentary.

Never Gonna Give You Up

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give (give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give (give you up)

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

This song is by Rick Astley in 1987.

I wanna dance like this guy.

Since you are on the computer now and reading this, take the time to go to youtube and search this video out.

Its epic.

Lately, I have had a pretty enjoyable life. Lots of stress, but a lot of fun times.

Lets see.

We'll start with...

The rest of Valentines Day was super awesome. Though it was cut short. Dang curfue. We saw "Valentines Day". Funny stuff. I like Taylor Swift approximately 10% less now. Then had dinner at TGIF. Our waiter was Slim Shady. The black version.

Short Week!

Then Sadies came up. Yes Sadies. I went to NWTCA's dance with none other than the fabulous Desiree Clarice Poser. Fun? I think so! Our plans before kinda fell through. Instead we saw Shutter Island. Super cool. And had a great Twist. I give it a 4.5/5. Then we got los.... I mean explored the strip and a magical forest. Ahhh. The Magical Forest. =P Dance was alright. Sorry Nick. It happens. Moodle. Didn't know many people but I still got to dance like a white boy. Always a blast. Dinner at Mimi's Cafe. Then Giant Slide! Agreed. The play area at the Canyon Ridge is apparently off limits at 11:30.

Supposedly getting lunch means go shopping with me and we'll get ice cream. I like that meaning of lunch better. =P

It's official. I am staying in Vegas for at least one year. Reno, if you read this, lower your prices. You are too expensive. Parents, if only you were Jewish and had a secret to saving money. Brother, you sucked them dry. =D

Now my biggest dilemma is CSN or NSC. Then have to get a lot less money to pay for tuition and books. Am I ready to transition into the college life? Not at all. But what a ride that will be.

These Days... This Song.

Good Song.
Not really how Im feeling but hey.

Chop Suey

Wake up
Grab a brush and put a little, makeup
Hide the scars to fade away the, shakeup
(Hide the scars to fade away the)
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable

You wanted to
Grab a brush and put a little makeup
You wanted to
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
You wanted to
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
You wanted to

I don't think you trust
In my self righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die

Wake up
Grab a brush and put a little, makeup
Hide the scars to fade away the, shakeup
(Hide the scars to fade away the)
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable

You wanted to
Grab a brush and put a little makeup
You wanted to
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
You wanted to
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table
You wanted to

I don't think you trust
In my self righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die
In my self righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die

Father, father, father, father
Father into your hands, I commend my spirit
Father into your hands
Why have you forsaken me?

In your eyes forsaken me
In your thoughts forsaken me
In your heart forsaken me, oh

Trust in my self righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die
In my self righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die

This is by a band, System of a Down.

Their lead singer is a guy that totally kicks serious butt.

His name is Serj Tankian.

Bye Bye!

Ah Valentines Day

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
This day could be sweet.
If only I was with you.

Yes, that is an original from Jameson himself.

Let's see. My plan:
1)Clean House so i'm allowed to leave.
2)Leave.
3)Go see "Valentine's Day" with Desi. (Nick and Chelsea will be there too.)
4)Go to dinner with them all.
5)Giant Slide Galore!!!!
--Okay, for those who dont know. That is where I knew for sure that I really liked Desi.--
6)Still haven't figured it out.
7)It would probably be like midnight now.
8)This list is getting to be pointless.
9)I'll stop.
10)...

I am definitely excited.


NEW TOPIC...

Yesterday I had to wake up really early.

We went to the Dumont dunes in CA.

First time I've ever been there.

Second time I've ever ridden a quad.

Nth time I have found out that I am pro at something new.

It was the coolest thing that I have done I a while.

I am definitely going up much more often.

I remember a time when Pokemon was the coolest thing ever. I used to collect them. A lot of them. Now they are just being perfectly preserved in my closet until they make a big comeback. If they make a big comeback. I think having the senior song of 2010 be the Pokemon theme song would be totally legit. Its got some strong lyrics. Just substitute 'Pokemon' with 'Shadow Ridge'. It might work. Or keep it the way it is.

Oh! How about this awesomtastic fad? How did legit come into every teenagers' life? My theory is Hot Rod. Rod Kimble was a go-getter. He was a genius that sucked at stunting. Though I was very proud of him for living after getting blown up 30ft above ground. And for getting torched at a child's birthday party. He really was legit. Too legit. Too legit to quit. And he didn't quit. Just took a break. Stunt on Rod. Stunt on.

I opened with a poem.

Here's another so you know 'em.

My day has begun.

It's filled with fun.

Let Love Rule

by the courageous Lenny.

Let it be your fuel.

Happy times there are many.

Its time to go.

And just so you know,

I don't always rhyme.

It bugs the crap outta me

because it takes too much time.

So Called Current Events

So the last week has been... Interesting.
On the 5th, I flew up to Reno for the Nevada Bound Trip.
We 1) Toured a gigantic 5 story library with over 4 million books. 2) Watched a powerpoint on all the different colleges on campus. 3) Got little bits of information from the fields of our choice. 4) Got to tour one college that we plan to major in. 5) Ate lunch at a buffet on campus. 6) Toured residence halls. 7)... Lost track there.
It was really awesome. I toured the College of Education. Bet you didnt know I wanted to be a high school math teacher, huh? But nothing where I have to teach freshmen. Ill stick to Trig, Calculus. You know, the basics. =D
When we toured the library I was amazed by 2 things: The first being the way they find books. They have a MARS ROVER that scans the isles and finds the book for you. You can check out books from the confines of your own room. And the best part of it was the @One Lounge. Theres over 200 high speed computers and of those, about 60 are brand new wide screen Mac computers. I almost fainted.
When we toured the Res Halls, I picked out my favorites. 1st being Lincoln Hall. Its one of the oldest res halls west of the mississippi river. Theres said to be 3 ghosts including Jimmy who killed himself in the basement while working on a science project. This is also called the Gamer Hall. For reasons to be obvious that most of the residents are gamers to some extent. This is an all guys dorm, but that just eliminates the constant awkwardness that might be in a Co-ed dorm.
Next favorite was the Nye Hall. Its 5 storys of confusion. Its Co-ed.
Then White Pine. Used to be a hotel apparently. Rooms are puny, but livable.
Once we were finished with the Res Halls, Cammie and I kinda ditched the pack and hung out with her sis. Went shopping then to her sisters apartment and just chilled.

That was about it. Turns out College will be incredibly expensive. I really need a job.

Desi and I have reached one month in a relationship. (applause)

The talent show was pretty awesome! I got to see Desi for the first time in like a week. =D
My top 3 performers were...
1)The Freak Show
2)Hawaiian Hip dance
3)The white kid that sang and played the piano.
Sorry kid i dont know for not knowing your name. But you were good.
Id like to give props to Tom and Terry. Though Tom messed up, what was heard was really good. Keep at it guys.

I hope the senior song they choose is Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve. Either that, or The Pokemon Theme Song. Both would make me happy.

Until next time!!
Ciao.

The Wii has internet?

Good Morning!!
So as i was dying of boredom, i went to go check out what trouble i could get myself into. I could break into Bailey's room while humming the theme to Mission Impossible. Nah, done it. I could sneak out and have fun. Nah, friends are sick or at school. I even considered actually cleaning the pool pump like my dad asked. Nah, that's too expected of me.
I decided what fun could i have on the wii. I've never liked the Nintendo consoles all that much because i've always had a console superior to it.
I played with the Playstation 1 when Nintendo 64 was popular.
I played with the Playstation 2 when the Gamecube was around.
Even now I would choose the Xbox 360 over 'ever so popular' Nintendo Wii.
Its just how life was, is, ans always will be. I even find the PS3 obsolete compared to the 360. Sure its got free online play and blu-ray, but it is not very user friendly and its gamer liked qualities that are loved on any online gaming console suck.
Sorry, i didnt mean to make this a bonfire with PS3 as the firewood.
Back to the Wii.
Its kind of confusing to understand but the fact that it has true internet browsing is pure genius. Well done Japan. Well done.


Alright, so if you are a loyal reader, you might also know that i havent been at school in awhile. It sucks. I feel as if I had been kidnapped and am being held here against my will. I dont feel sick any more anc i've even run out meds. I'll be at school on Thursday. But not Friday. Im going to Reno.
How is everybody? Leave a comment with your most recent accomplishment and i'll be sure to give you your deserved kudos in my next post.

Save me. Im stuck in this place with nothing to do.

Random Quote!!
"I was God once."
"I saw. You were doing good until everyone died."

XD